


it'sheynoon2

by Kirisame_Drive



Series: tittybamf tales [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Funny, I Don't Even Know, M/M, club shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirisame_Drive/pseuds/Kirisame_Drive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>local gremlin and partner frogger discover that cowboys are mean (sad katniss (japan edition) :cc)</p><p>see you....space cowboy....</p>
            </blockquote>





	it'sheynoon2

The small apartment was still, the clinking of cutlery tapping against each other the only sound to be heard. Within the kitchen, Lúcio cleaned up after dinner had finished. The dishes had been piling up, a series of busy days having kept him from tidying up properly, but he had finally gotten around to it. Despite the mountainous amount of work to be done, he tackled it with a smile. Washing dishes may be tedious, but he appreciated how monotonous it was. It let him unwind and relax. He could slow down and think about his day, plan out his next big hit, or just chill after a long day. Skating around jamming out to sick beats all day was pretty exhausting, despite popular belief.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” Hana hollered from the living room

“Nah, I got this. Thanks though!” 

Lúcio peeked past the door to see Hana’s leg dangling from the top of the couch. She was probably fidgeting on her phone, although it was impossible to tell from this angle. He went back to cleaning dishes, mind drifting off once again. 

“Are you sure? It will be faster if we do it together!” She called back

“No no, it’s okay! Don’t worry about it!” 

It’s not as if he didn’t NEED help. Hana just wasn’t the most suited for the job. Last time they washed dishes together she tried to race him, claiming she could wash the most dishes in the least amount of time, but dropped the very first plate she cleaned. It wasn’t the only one she dropped. She got pretty “tilted”, as she so often said. He had to work extra hard that night, both to clean up and to make her feel better. Tonight wasn’t about competing though. It was all abou-

“LÚCIO, HOLY FUCK!” Hana screamed at the top of her lungs, launching herself into a sitting position.

Hana scrambled off after a couple seconds, crawling into the kitchen in all fours at speeds never before seen done by a human being. She pressed her phone on Lúcio’s face, her expression a mix of shock and disbelief.  
Lúcio squinted and pushed back. “Hana, your brightness is too high” Lúcio replied, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh shoot.” Hana let out quietly, swiping her finger across the screen to make her screen darker. “Look, look!”

Lúcio took the phone into his hands and looked at the picture Hana was so upset about. In it, McCree had his arm wrapped around an older man, who in turn was kissing him on the cheek. 

“Who’s that old guy?” Lucio asked, handing the phone back to Hana.

“I don’t know! He just sent it to me with no context…” She looked down. “What does this mean?”

“We should wait and see if he gets back to you,” Lucio explained. “No use jumping to conclusions.”

“I know, I know but what if he made a mistake? What if I wasn’t supposed to see this picture?” Hana continued, “You know McCree doesn’t know how to work Snapchat.”

“He tries, okay. At least you didn’t get five random pictures all at once followed by a text only saying “sorry”” Lucio joked, smiling at Hana. She didn’t smile back.  
The phone began to buzz, a message on the screen saying McCree had sent another message. It was another picture. This time, McCree and the old man showcased themselves holding hands on the camera, with a message reading “I’ve waited so long for this” on the picture. Another message followed immediately. It read: “Shit. Hana please be good and don’t tell anyone about this, okay? I’ll explain everything soon I promise. Just keep this a secret.”

Lucio’s smile faded. They were both quiet now, standing perfectly still as though time had stopped. 

Hana spoke first. “What now?”

Lúcio furrowed his brow and held his hand against his mouth. He tapped his finger against his cheek, deep in thought. “We should wait. If he wants to keep this a secret then-“

“It’s not right though!” Hana spoke up, fists clenched. “It’s not right…”

“I know, Hana, I know. But what can we do?” Lúcio continued. “It’s not right for us to get involved in his affairs.”

“Very funny, man” Hana said unimpressed. “I don’t like it. Not one bit.”

“What do you mean? I wasn’t trying to- Oh. Wait, no, I get it” Lúcio smiled awkwardly

She was the one drowned away in thought now. She looked up into Lúcio’s eyes. 

“We have to tell him,” Hana concluded, “We have to tell Hanzo.”

. . .

“I just don’t get why this couldn’t wait until tomorrow…” Lúcio nagged on, hands cold. 

“Hanzo needs to find out as soon as possible.” Hana mumbled out, her mouth covered behind a pink scarf. “He’s the one who needs to make a decision, not us.”

“But why tonight I-“

“Shh! I think he’s coming!”

Hanzo opened the door to the house, a breeze of warm air escaping into the cool October night. He looked down at his guests, a look of calm surprise in his eyes.

“Lúcio, D.Va, good to see you two are as lively as ever.” Hanzo finally said, leaning onto the doorframe, arms crossed. “It’s pretty late though, what are you up to?”

“We need to talk.” Hana spoke up in an uncharacteristically serious tone

Hanzo’s expression matched hers, growing tense. He stepped aside and signaled them to come in. Hana stepped in first, followed by a shivering Lúcio.

“We didn’t catch you while you were busy with anythin’, did we?” Lúcio asked as he took off his coat.

“Not really. Jesse is out of town for the weekend so it’s been fairly quiet tonight.” He replied, which made Lúcio’s eyes dart away. He led them into the main room through a narrow hall. It was a simple room, a couch facing a television with a coffee table in between the two. Shelves along the wall from which the TV hung were loaded with CD’s, and paintings decorated the rest of the room. A dining table could be spotted through one of the doors, and the kitchen through another. Hanzo pointed at his couch with an open palm. “Please.”

The two guests sat down while Hanzo left to go into a separate room. They waited quietly until their host returned, a hot kettle and three small matching cups in hand. He set them down all down, pouring out tea to each cup before sitting down in a chair opposite to them. They sat in silence, Hanzo looking onto the young duo, waiting. Lucio caught on first, taking a sip from his cup. Hanzo smiled and picked up his own.

“So, what do you need to speak to me about?” Hanzo began, holding the cup in both hands.

“Well…” Lúcio looked at Hana, nervousness seeping into his voice. “Tonight we found out that, well,-“

“It will be easier if we just show you.” Hana interrupted, pulling up the pictures McCree had sent her. She handed the phone over to Hanzo, whose expression grew even more serious. 

“He also sent a message asking us to keep this all a secret,” Lúcio followed up. “We were going to wait for him to get back and confront him about it but…”

“No.” Hanzo spoke up, voice unshaken. “You did the right thing. Thank you, both of you” He smiled slightly, but it was only a front. Lucio looked away yet again, unable to bear how sad Hanzo’s eyes were at the moment. 

“I still can’t believe that McCree would have the balls to try and get me involved in his little charade” Hana shouted, standing up from the couch. “Didn’t he think about you? About what this would do?!”

“Hana, you gotta-“

“Let me finish, okay?” Hana interrupted Lúcio, holding her index finger up. “I oughtta kick his ass for this. Hanzo we should kick his ass”

“Yeah, he really has it coming this time.” Hanzo mumbled, eyes glued to the floor. Lucio looked at Hana concerned.

“Hey man, don’t feel too bad.” Lúcio put his hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. Hanzo remain unmoved. “He didn’t do this because of you, okay? I’m sure there’s something messed up going on in his head and he made a mistake. We’ll confront him as soon as get here.” 

Hanzo nodded in silence. Lúcio clenched his fists and tried again. “We should do something to get your mind off of this for now then! No use worrying until McCree comes back.”

Hana’s eyes lit up. “Oh my- Lúcio you’re a genius! That’s an awesome idea!” She turned to face Hanzo. “I know just the thing to cheer you up!”

Hanzo looked up at her. “What would that be?”

“Let’s all go clubbing, the three of us!”

. . . 

“Just how long is he gonna keep us waiting?!”

The sound of Hana’s foot tapping against Hanzo’s hardwood floor pierced through every room in the house. She stood with arms crossed, wearing high waisted shorts and a stripped top. She’d look adorable had her mood not been so sour, or so Lúcio thought. He was digging through Hanzo’s CD collection, quickly flipping through each album but stopping to be amazed whenever something caught his attention. 

“Yo, Hanzo!” Lúcio exclaimed, eyes glued to the quickly cycling CD’s. “You sure got a lot of old albums, man! Got some real classics here!”

“Those belong to Jesse,” Hanzo replied calmly through the door. “Please take care, they mean a lot to him.”

“I bet, you can’t really get physical copies of anything nowadays…” Lucio said, more quietly this time. “Think he’d be mad if I borrowed a couple of them? For uh. Research of course.”

“I mean, it’s not like he’s gonna be able to use them once I’m done with him,” Hana growled. “HANZO, OUR RIDE IS GONNA BE HERE IN FIVE MINUTES, MOVE IT.”

Just as Hana finished her statement, the door unlocked and out came out Hanzo, sporting a three piece black suit with a crimson red tie to accent. He walked out a little awkwardly, doubt on his face. His expression, however, could not match Hana’s disgust.

“Oh my fucking god” she sighed. “We’re going to a club. A party. Why do you look like you’re about to pitch me your dumb robot religion.”

“The last time I went to a club was in the days of my youth,” Hanzo explained. “I bought the trust of the leader of a competing organization at the time. It is at this moment of mutual trust that your window of opportunity is the widest, but the blade must also strike quickly. The fool did not see it coming.”

“Why are you like this,” Hana continued, burying her face in her hands. 

Lúcio nudged Hana, giving her an annoyed look. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad. We just need to breathe a little.” 

Lúcio stepped up to Hanzo, and following a quiet “May I?” he unbuttoned Hanzo’s blazer. He reached up to his tie and undid it, tossing it aside. He undid the collar button in his shirt and gave Hanzo a couple pats before stepping back.

“There you go, you look like a million bucks!” Lúcio smiled. “Isn’t that right, Hana?” 

“Yeah yeah, let’s get moving, we don’t want to make our ride wait.” Hana dismissed quickly. 

Lúcio shrugged, giving Hanzo another smile, which he reciprocated lightly. The three prepared for the cool night that was to come, Lúcio finishing first. Hanzo followed, but was stopped by Hana.

“Don’t get me wrong, if I was a cute boy I’d be all over you.” 

With that, the two stepped out into the night.

. . .

“Thank you again for the ride, Mercy” Hanzo said before a small nod.

“Oh Hanzo, you don’t need to be so formal!” Angela replied with a smile. “Don’t go too wild though, okay?”

“I promise we won’t take Hana’s mech on drunken joyrides,” Lúcio joked, to which Hana replied with a shy smile.

“You better not, because if something happens to my Hana, you WILL need those skates to be prosthetics.” Angela retorted, smile still wide on her face. “Have fun!”

Angela waved them goodbye before driving away. 

“She doesn’t really joke around, does she?” Lúcio asked defeated.

Hana gave him a pat on the back before the three stepped into the club. What Hanzo first noticed was the noise. The sound enveloped him, numbing his sense, the bass making his body beat. He was further disoriented by the bright lights flashing in seemingly random ways. Away from the entrance, he could see a sea of people who embraced the rule of the music, throwing their bodies wildly to its command. Hanzo stared at it, as if looking into the abyss, his skin prickling up. Emotions flooded in, not fear, not sadness. It was something different. It froze him. Seeing that mass of people move rhythmically somehow dulled out the rest of the chaos the club had to offer, filling his mind with this feeling. It was hypnotizing. 

“HANZO!” 

Hana’s voice awoke him from the dancer’s spell, music again too loud. 

“You okay man?” Hana tried to speak over the music. “You look stressed as all hell.”

“I…” Hanzo started. “I’m fine. I… I think I need a drink.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!” Hana cheered on, wrapping her arm around his waist. “Let’s get fucking hammered!” 

The two reached the bar, finding spots with relative ease. Hana ordered for the two of them before turning to her companion.

“Where is Lúcio?” Hanzo asked, finally realizing he wasn’t with them.

“Probably pestering the DJ,” Hana explained, thanking the bartender before taking a sip from her drink. “He does it every time. Not that the DJ’s usually mind, since he’s kind of a big deal and what not. This more so his scene than mine.”

“I see…” Hanzo said more quietly, also drinking. “Do you not like clubs?”

“Are you kidding, I love it! They’re such a change of pace from playing games all day, y’know? Plus, he likes them, so how can I not enjoy them at least a little bit” her eyes finally settled on Lúcio on the far end, talking to the DJ as predicted. “But hey, tonight isn’t about me. You should be out there trying to meet some cuties!”

“I don’t…” Hanzo trailed off, looking away.

“What? Come on, I already told you at the house didn’t I? You’re a good looking dude, I’m sure someone here must suit your fancy.”

“It’s not about that. It has nothing to do with being a “good looking dude”” Hanzo stopped Hana before she could continue further, making big air quotes with his fingers. “I’m not worried about anything like that. I just don’t want to believe it.” 

Hanzo looked down at the bar table before taking a big gulp from his drink. 

“Do you think I did something wrong?”

“No! Of course not!” Hana shouted. “That stupid cowboy just doesn’t think about the messes he makes until they come back to bite him. He doesn’t realize what a great guy you are, and because of it he’s gonna miss on the best night of his life. So let’s show  
him how much fun we can have without him” 

Hana raised her glass to Hanzo, who looked at it hesitantly. He sighed, before a smile grew on his face. He raised his own glass determined, and they both finished their drinks. 

. . . 

The door unlocked for Hanzo and McCree’s house after much tinkering, swinging open as a dizzy Hanzo bounced into his home. He sat down and launched his shoes off by kicking his legs. He waddled wildly into the living room, falling back into the couch.

“What the FUCK, why didn’t anyone make out with me,” Hanzo slurred angrily. “Like. I’m nice. HANA. HANA I’M NICE, RIGHT?”

No response.

“Oh right. Lúcio took her home after some idiot tried to take her on.” He said more quietly. “No one fucks with my Korean Bunbun, nu-uh. That guy he. He tried but we showed him good.”

“You showed him what?” 

Hanzo sat up to see McCree standing at the entrance to the living room, fully astonished. Jesse smiled at Hanzo, taking off his hat and hold it up to his chest.

“I’m home darlin’!” McCree exclaimed, opening his arms to embrace his partner.

Hanzo hit him square on the forehead with a tea cup that was left sitting on the coffee table. 

“DON’T YOU “DARLIN’” ME YOU SCRAPPY ASSHOLE” Hanzo exclaimed loudly. “I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING.”

McCree held his hand against his forehead, checking to see if he was bleeding.

“What the hell has gotten into you all of a sudden?!” McCree replied angrily. “I thought you’d be happy to see me come home early!”

“Like hell I’d be happy to see you!” Hanzo replied, scrambling up from the couch to face McCree. Managing slowly to walk the cowboy, he pointed ad him by pushing on his chest with his index finger. “What has gotten into YOU would be a better question.”

“What are you talking about?” McCree swatted Hanzo’s hand away. “You were the one that threw a tea cup at me!”

“I know all about your escapades, you filth” Hanzo continued to point at him. “About how you told Hana to keep it a secret. I know it all.”

Now it was McCree’s turn to look astonished.

“She didn’t…” McCree whispered. “Hanzo, darlin’, it’s all a mistake.”

“Likely story!” Hanzo replied, a brazen smile on his face, victory his. “I won’t listen any of your stories. Just get out of here before I do something we both regret.”  
Hanzo walked away from McCree, stepping back into the room. McCree followed, holding his hand out.

“No, darlin’, please listen!” 

“I SAID NO!”

Hanzo began to turn on his heels, fist clenched to strike McCree. However, he miscalculated just what 9 shots of various liquors would do to him. He fell back, his body hitting the shelves that held McCree’s CD’s, scattering all over the floor. 

“Look at what you made me do!” Hanzo exclaimed, propping himself on all floors to gather then CDs that had fallen.

He picked up a couple before stopping at one. Something about it had caught his eye, maybe the name ringing a bell from one of many of McCree’s chats about “the great classics.” Examining it further wasn’t helping. It was more recent. Where had he seen this band before?

“That’s the man from the picture.”

Hanzo’s eyes widened. The man on the cover of the CD was indeed the man from the picture. The same old man. Hanzo looked up to McCree.

“I snuck out to see NSP’s last concert this weekend.” McCree explained. “I got a VIP pass. It’s their last concert and you know that I love the classics from the 80’s! Danny Sexbang can perform those better than anyone else in this world possibly could. It’s the closest to seeing the real thing live.”

“So then the picture was-“

“The VIP pass got me backstage and I got to chat with him. He’s actually the sweetest guy. He let me take pictures and even gave me a kiss when he found out how much of a fanboy I am.”

Hanzo took a quick breath, his nose sounding stuffed. “You really are a dumb fanboy.”

His eyes began to swell up with tears. McCree fell to his knees and embraced his partner. 

“I wanted to surprise you with the pictures, which is why I told Hana to keep it a secret. I’m still getting the hang of this Snapchat nonsense and sent them to her by accident.”

But Hanzo wasn’t listening. He had gone numb again. But this time, he felt all of the pent up emotions flee his body. The weight he had been carrying suddenly lifted, he cried. It was all he could do. He just nodded and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea i love ninja sex party and think McCree would be into 80's music and their covers


End file.
